Everyday. I Struggle.
I struggle. Everyday.
As a Follower of Christ, I struggle. I am faced with daily decision, finances, relationships, health, stresses.
As a Worship Pastor. I struggle. I am faced with being a leader, studying, learning, teaching.
Sometimes it is hard to blend the two. My personal walk/faith and my leadership in the church. It is very easy to infuse who I am, likes/dislike with who I believe the congregation I lead should be and focus only on that. It is very hard to find the balance between what others need to be encouraged/taught and what I need.
I also struggle heavily with a church that seems to appreciate comfort more than character. Too many/too little words. Too many new/old songs. Not enough/too many hymns. Not enough fast/slow songs. Too loud/soft. (And, I have gotten both those complaints in one weekend.) Frankly, we love to complain. I am one of the worst. I admit it. But, I struggle with this personality trait of the church.
The easy thing at this point, is to lead to please them. Pick songs that best meet the demand. Do things that keep the peace. Only do what others recommend. Maybe with a little bit of what I like mixed in. It’s an endless circle of trying to please everyone…except God.
I’m not interested in pleasing people. Sounds harsh, I know. I am constantly critiqued and told something is wrong/too much/not enough/different. Don’t get me wrong, I want critique. But I’m tired of comments, based on opinion or desire. General comments and critique are generally out of line. I am always appreciative and thankful, but even the good ones can be wrong. How many times have you ignored a complaint only to accept a compliment and then even change or adapt what you do based on the compliment, because “people like it”. Who says the compliment isn’t wrong? It’s an endless circle. I’m done.
I am not a Pastor to give you what you want. I am a Pastor, to lead you to what you need.
You need an unending passion for loving the lost.
You need an extravagant joy that only comes from knowing God.
You need a restored life that proves His power.
You need to endlessly stand in awe of a Savior that died for you.
You need to relentlessly pursue the mystery of Jesus.
You need to surrender completely and totally to our sovereign God.
You don’t need style/sound/soft/loud/more/less…
You only need Him. Worship that way. Live that way.
thanks for being honest brother
CJ´s last blog post…Semi-Wordless Wednesday : Baby Blues
brilliant.
joshua´s last blog post…slavery is real
“I am not a Pastor to give you what you want. I am a Pastor, to lead you to what you need.”
Love that Brent, really love it, because I think it sums up so much of the struggle especially within a job of leading worship.
Tyler´s last blog post…Hillsong United // Across the Earth
I struggle with that all the time Tyler. Worship leading can become a like/dislike opinion based event all to easy.
brent(inWorship)´s last blog post…Everyday. I Struggle.
“You need to endlessly stand in awe of a Savior that died for you.”
Preach it brother Brent… Love it.
Peace and love bro.
ckroboth´s last blog post…Live Blog Tuesday 9:15pm — Who did Jesus came to save?
Great one bro…..
Jason Curlee´s last blog post…Boomin Out The Stereo System
All I can say is wow!
God will honor you mightily for this post.
You hit it square on!!
Thank you
Heidi´s last blog post…A Different Peace
i’m loving this post!!! each week i get e-mailed the communication cards and what people have to say about the weekend service…i get compliments from people on facebook…
but my questions…was God honored and glorified in what was done??? were people brought into God’s presence and able experience Him??? was it biblical??? did i give my very best??? what could i do better next time???
“I am not a Pastor to give you what you want. I am a Pastor, to lead you to what you need.”
good stuff brother…
jon mark´s last blog post…how He loves us…
Those are great questions to ask. We always have to accept what we here and then discern whats best.
I pray and check myself all the time when evaluating how I’ve done. Some who know me well hold me accountable. I trust the leaders I work with. And my wife is always honest
brent(inWorship)´s last blog post…Everyday. I Struggle.
Brent, thank you for sharing this. My brother is a music director at a church, and I’m in the choir at my church so I see some of what our worship pastor deals with. And I know that what I see and hear and pick up on is just a fraction of what all three of you (and all worship pastors) deal with and struggle with. I especially love the way you ended, “Live that way.” A good word.
Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect´s last blog post…A List of Important Things You Need to Know
Dude…hands down your best post ever..brilliant!
klampert´s last blog post…Lanae Hale Live on Good Day
I agree with this!
David´s last blog post…Stuff Christians (Don’t) Like
you make me happy to know you, live with you, love you and serve with you.
great post!
your awesome wife´s last blog post…same ole – same ole
“we love to complain…..I struggle with this personality trait of the church.”
and as long as we cater – it will continue.
your awesome wife´s last blog post…same ole – same ole
Honestly, I think it will continue whether we cater to it or not. But if we cater to it, we hurt those along the way, that are willing to following our lead.
brent(inWorship)´s last blog post…Everyday. I Struggle.
Dare I say as long as we breathe – it will continue.
People will be people. And when some of those people have grown into maturing Believers who can feed themselves and really “get it” there will be new baby Believers who can’t and don’t.
For me, that’s the biggest part of the struggle. Knowing that this journey isn’t linear. It’s an ever changing cycle of seasons. It’s bitter sweet. The sweet part is seeing people who get these statements:
“I am not a Pastor to give you what you want. I am a Pastor, to lead you to what you need.”
“You only need Him. Worship that way. Live that way”.
The bitter part is acknowledging that there will always be people who don’t get those statements…
Which depending on how you look at it, is also motivation to continue fighting the good fight.
Thank you SO much Brent for posting this brilliantly transparent outpouring from your heart.
Love it!
Russ´s last blog post…Together-ness: Family is Utmost
“The bitter part is acknowledging that there will always be people who don’t get those statements…”
It’s even more disappointing when it is people that you love, respect and expect more out of. I know lots of people that seem to get it in the rest of their life, but when it comes to worship, they have no clue. They are studied up, prayed up, loved on their neighbors and then they come to a service and complain.
The hard part is that if I try to cater to any of them, I truly become bitter and resentful. That is the basis for this post. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I am going to seek Him completely and totally for what I need, not what I want and I will be leading others down that road…even if they don’t agree or like it.
As everyone has highlighted above:
“I am not a Pastor to give you what you want. I am a Pastor, to lead you to what you need.” and “You only need Him. Worship that way. Live that way”.
No more to add, just thanks.
David´s last blog post…Stuff Christians (Don’t) Like
Well said.. Hang in there. Know that some folks get it and will lift you up.
shrop´s last blog post…Drupal Wins CNet’s Webware 100
Yeah baby – great stuff!
What an encouragement.Gained a lot from your post it was challenging and refining. May we be purposeful in our pursuit of Him focused and unwavering. May we lead with confidence, yet humbleness striving to please Christ and Worship God above everyone else. Once again, great post.
this is GOOD stuff.
this is meat.
this is tough to swallow.
and so so so good for the spirit.
joy renée´s last blog post…happy birthday, church.
thank you for this today.
kim´s last blog post…Worship Reflections: 05.31.09
You wrote my heart, brother. Thank you.
Jeff M. Miller´s last blog post…Book Giveaway: Nine Ways God Always Speaks
Hi! I’m so glad I read your post this morning! I’m in the same spot… It’s often hard to lead but we’re not here to please man! We’re here to go after God with all our might, passion and strength!
Let’s take it wherever He leads us!
Thanks man!
Michiel´s last blog post…Too beautiful to miss!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Excellent post. I serve with the very kindest of people…but they are still very much “people” who want to be heard, or maybe just listened to. I try to steer them toward the holy…then I look at me and know how much of me goes into my plans and leadership. All of the “you need to’s..” at the end of your post remind me again of my Father’s pursuit of me. You are right…I need to…!!!
i don’t think its harsh to stand up and say, “NO we are not catering to your likes and dislikes, we are holding out the TRUTH to you, and honestly its not about me, but its also not about you.”
As we move on to learn ourselves to be more of a picture of Jesus in our world and to the ones seeking HIM, I can’t find scripture where Jesus catered to peoples whims, as a matter of fact sometimes HE was harsh. When the disciples argued among themselves..he replied.. “how long do i have to put up with you”…and there was no sin in HIM..
I understand and live this struggle, well written!
darla´s last blog post…things to ponder…
Great Post.
Yes, it is our job to lead, but it is really not about us. It’s about Him, Worshiping Him.
bryan´s last blog post…Romy is white.
and this is why you should keep writing… keep blogging… keep growing.
Thank you for being honest… I mean, why would anyone want to be a Christian if they had to have it all together & tie a perfect bow around it? not me, man. not me…
mandythompson´s last blog post…Write Anyway Day: Disaster
thanks for that
Good stuff. I’m with you in this passion. I tell my church all the time, don’t look to me, look to Jesus!
Ron Edmondson´s last blog post…The Leader Sets The Bar
Great post. Months ago I heard Andy Stanley speak on the same topic and what he shared is relevant to your post and to the overall life of a leader.
Andy shared,
“Did we miss something in our training as leaders to be so caught off guard or even surprised when our decision making is tested? Did we skim over the parts of the Bible in which every leader was often challenged, multiple times, to see if they were worthy of their calling? Unfortunately, I have watched far too many people leave their positions of leadership based on complaints from those that they serve over. What I have learned is this – I will never be able to change the mind of the complainer, but I can renew the mind of this leader.”
Love it. I hope this encourages you to keep paddling in the current. Lead on brother!
(This turned into a long winded comment.) I think that the job of the worship pastor is one of the most difficult in terms of dealing with people. Music is such an preference driven thing. There is music that we all prefer to listen to, but there is some music that is just good for us to listen to or experience. Not everyone likes Mozart, but listening to his Requiem is quite a moving experience. It can direct your heart to God even though it’s not considered a sacred piece. A worship leader is also an artist. An artist uses his or her God given talent to express feelings, emotions, an event. An artist puts his or herself out there, like an open chest wound exposed to the air, for all the world to see and comment on. Personally, as an artist and worship leader, it can be a difficult thing to step out to lead a congregation of people in worship. There is a desire to lead the body as a whole while still meeting individual needs. It can be a crushing blow when people share their opinions, especially in a less than loving way. I have been on the loving end of that and the more than less loving end. It can really make a person rethink taking up the task of worship leading. That is why, now that I am a regular worship leader at our church, I try really hard to take my role seriously, and strive for excellence in my gifts and talents as a musician. I can’t do that without God’s complete and utter guidance.
I am reminded of a positive conversation I had with a woman over worship at a women’s morning bible study.
Stella: “I almost didn’t come for the worship portion today because I never know the songs. The rhythms and styles of the songs make it so hard to sing. I just can’t seem to sing what is being played, but I’m glad I came this morning because I knew the songs. What a blessing.”
Amy: “I’m glad that you liked them. I picked them just for you.”
Stella: “How did you know?”
Amy: “I prayed last night about my set list and I couldn’t get these songs out of my mind. I changed my list up at the last minute so we could sing these songs this morning. I knew the Lord put them upon my heart for a specific person.”
Stella: She smiled, “Well, thank you.”
And she walked away.
A few weeks later she came up to me and apologized for her words in our earlier conversation. I must have had a quizzical look on my face because she explained further.
Stella: “I realized after our conversation that I we can’t just have all the music be for ladies of my age. We need to encourage the younger generation in their faith, and one of the ways to do that is through music. And it needs to be music that they can relate to.”
Amy: “Wow, thanks for sharing that. I agree with you, but I also think that we can’t leave the older music behind. There are some great hymns and choruses with wonderful words of faith that the younger generation and beyond must know how to sing. There is a way to blend the two together.”
We could only hope that all music “preference” conversations go so well.
Amy, you bring up an aspect to leadership in Christ that so many forget and we often take for granted. The leading of His Spirit. Sometimes, God spurs our heart. Challenges us. Moves us. We lead accordingly. I know that please Him and often it works out to the benefit of relationship as well. Just as you’ve written.
As one of those who worships with you… I am thankful that you lead me to the face of Jesus… even when I am not comfortable, in the end you get me there… and for that I say… THANK YOU!!
Cheryl´s last blog post…Disney gives African-American girls their own princess (The Gazette, 20 Apr 2009, Page A18)
cheryl, you just hit on the post i just wrote.
your awesome wife´s last blog post…more thoughts on “worship”
Cheryl, this means a lot. Thank you.
Wow, brother! This post blew my mind AND convicted my heart. I admit that I sometimes become so wrapped up in the means that I forget to set my sights on the end. Thank you for this incredibly courageous and thought-provoking post. You rock, dude!
givemejesus´s last blog post…Error Vs. Truth
Yes
I would only change one word: ‘you’ in the whole last section to ‘us’ or ‘we’. (Mk. 10:42-45)
True sheep will follow when they know their shepherds truly care for them, but we must ALL be hearing and obeying the ‘Chief Shepherd’s’ voice first (1 Peter 5:1-4).
D-
Good word, and very cool to be reminded of what our focus as worship pastors is to be, and that is to lead the people to what they need and not necessarily what they want. Sometimes those may line up, but too often they don’t.
Thanks for sharing your heart! Can’t wait to meet you guys!
I know I’m late to the party, but I have to say that I feel like you wrote this just for me. It’s not that I get many complaints or criticism – I don’t, we seem to have a good culture of encouragement here – but the very few that do come through seem to hit me all the harder.
This vulnerability is magnified when I’m weary or dry, and it’s the end of a very long and hard ministry year, and it’s getting hot (100 degrees plus in our tent) and lots of good supportive friends are leaving and I hate goodbyes and the emotions are sometimes overwhelming.
Thankyou for the final paragraphs – I will take them to heart.
Mark.
Mark Jaffrey´s last blog post…Cairo commuting
Thanks for sharing. I have found myself holding on to a statement that I heard at Granger Community Church not too long ago, that is this: We are responsible TO people, not FOR people. Meaning this: we are responsible to lead our people to a place where they can worship, but we are not responsible FOR them actually worshiping. That is up to them. That translates to their entire walk with God. We are responsible to them to help them grow, but in the end, we are not responsible for their growth, they have to make the decision to do the things that are needed for them to grow. I struggle with that alot because it means the difference in giving them what they want, and what they need to grow in Christ. Thanks for being genuine and open.
Jason Petermann´s last blog post…Worship Confessional: May 31st, 2009
I agree Jason, we as leaders should never get aught up in this. It is not by our power that people are changed and we cannot know a man’s heart. We need to be faithful and responsible to our own heart and God’s changing and leading in and through us. He will do the rest.
Brent, Thank you. This is a great piece of heart.
Awesome!!!
“I also struggle heavily with a church that seems to appreciate comfort more than character.”
So, what are you doing about it? If you really say what needs to be said, how long would you remain employed as the worship pastor?
What’s holding you back?
badguy´s last blog post…Let your light shine
Bad, good to hear you
I thought the post said what I am doing.
I choose to seek what God, purely and simply. In my daily life. In my leadership of others. I do not seek to please man, but only God. I will struggle and make mistakes through it, but I am purposefully seeking Him and Hi alone.
Not sure what my “employment” has to do with that. Whether employed by the church or not, I will always struggle daily with laying down myself.
OK, looking back through your comment, I understand a little better what your saying.
Everything I have written in this post. The failures and fears and vision all are supported by the staff I work with. So, I don’t have any concern over what I am saying here and being told “no” by the men I work with.
If our leadership continues to lead this way, which we do now, we may lose people at the church, which mean maybe less money, which means that I may not be employed by Table Rock. So be it. I am greatly blessed to be able to be paid for what I do. If I am not. So be it. Nothing changes. As long as I am asked to lead at Table Rock, I will lead. Paycheck or not. And beyond that, I am unconcerned over what congregation I am apart of. If it’s Table Rock. Great. If it’s the church down the street. Great. If it’s in a different country under nothing that resembles an organized western church. Great. I am open and willing to wherever God leads.
Brent – thanks for reading my response twice. I was deliberately terse to see how you’d respond (and I wholeheartedly commend you for your second response). Iron sharpens iron and all that…
I heard Tony Campolo speaking ONCE about his church in Philadelphia. When he started attending he asked the Sr. Pastor how it had come to be that a predominantly black church had become more integrated and diverse (and very large too). The Sr. Pastor told him this(my paraphrase of course):
“It was the tradition of the pastors and elders to get up on Sunday, open the Bible, and let the Spirit guide them to the Scripture to be taught. One Sunday I got up, opened the Bible, and came to this verse, ‘Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all’. I felt the Spirit telling me to preach a sermon of equality and integration – so I did.”
Campolo responded, “and that’s when your congregation began to grow?”
The preacher responded, “Oh No! I preached that congregation down to FOUR!” He concluded, “But sometimes revival starts with a winnowing of the chaff.”
I think I’ll see if I can find this story online somewhere (off to youtube…)
Blessings to you and yours, my brother!
badguy´s last blog post…Let your light shine
I’ll be anxious to hear that. I really appreciate the things Campolo has to teach.
As a note, we have noticed much of this at Table Rock. Not as much regarding the diversity, but regarding general attendance. This is not an ad for us, but instead a picture…
Over the last 4 years or so, we as a church have been “coasting”. We realize this and have made changes personally and within the leadership to challenge it. It has brought many changes. Many, even in leadership, moving a side. We’ve also seen a large amount of our people disappear over the last year. Most specifically in the last 6 months. We have a much great internal focus on caring for each other and our local community. In doing this, it has set a side some things that others felt were more important. We don’t feel this way. People who want to be fed are leaving and people who want to feed are showing up. The interesting thing is that our numbers are down a little bit, but not much. Instead, we are seeing many new faces. And these faces are coming with stories. Neighbors are ministering to neighbors. Coworkers are caring for each other. Long time church goers(pew sitters) are plugging into food pantries and social/community work. In turn, we are seeing those people arrive Sunday AM to meet together and then they are turning around and working in the community together as they leave. It has been awesome to watch. the stories and changed lives are incredible. In the past, it was easy (sounds bad) to say someone “accepted Christ today”. But we didn’t have as many people professing a changed life. Today, that story is everywhere and it is both confirming and humbling. It encourages and challenges me in my own walk .
Still searching, but this one will do for now quite nicely:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWlMV-UmueM
badguy´s last blog post…Let your light shine
Brent – It’s so exciting as a member of the Body to see others “get it” and start going and doing for God. I’m exhilarated just reading a little about it this morning (especially after just listening to the Campolo clip I just posted).
Jesus said in His great commission to “GO” – the more literal translation is “as you are going.” The world begins at our doorstep. How exciting that people are figuring it out – how sad that some have moved on to find another buffet table.
badguy´s last blog post…Let your light shine
And it is a daily, intentional decision to stay focused on that. It helps when we don’t rely on the new face “walking through the doors”, to be our incentive. Instead the encounters “outside of the doors”.
When my son is done playing drums, I’ll listen to the Campolo clip
Amen, my friend. Amen.
Absolutely honest and true. If the focus is on the style/tempo/genre/etc… It is NOT on the words that are being lifted up to the Lord. Worship like life is for God not us. “Complainers” generally suffer from pride or an ungrateful heart. To encourage that or be lead by it, is like encouraging immoral behavior: swearing, drinking, recklessness, or sexual promiscuity; it all leads to death. And we are called to spur one another on to Godliness- nothing less. When we feed what the flesh desires, we are simply nourishing evil. The way to kill something is cut off it’s food source. I applaud your wisdom and obedience despite the risk of more criticism, and would love to visit your worship service some day.