EXCLUSIVE! Breaking News!

July 9, 2008 in What the?!?! with 43 Comments

I am so excited to bring this to your attention!

As I have read through scriptures, one thing has always bothered me, Why did Moses and the Israealites have to wander around the desert for 40 years. If they walked straight, wouldn’t they eventually get to something?

Well, we have the answer…

Moses lost the map.

Yes, you heard me right. Moses, lost the map. And how do we know this, because it has been found. An archeological dig around the Red Sea has uncovered an urn, not far from an ancient Egyptian chariot. Inside this urn was “the map”. Archeologists speculate what happened,

“A parchment map was found in a sealed urn not far from the remains of an Egyptian chariot,” said Rabbi Schmotkin-Fisher. “We surmise that Moses dropped it in the rush to get across the Red Sea before the parted waters came back together.”

Rabbi Schmotkin-Fisher goes on to say,

“This explains so much,” Rabbi Schmotkin-Fisher said, “especially why God didn’t let Moses enter the Promised Land. You know how angry your wife gets when you won’t pull over and ask for directions? Imagine how irate the Almighty gets when you pull the same thing on Him!”

Wow, this is great news…or not…

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43 Responses to “EXCLUSIVE! Breaking News!”

  1. alex mclean July 9, 2008 at 3:03 pm #

    Awesome News! If only Moses had an iPhone – he would have been fine!

    alex mclean’s last blog post…Pastors & Homosexuality

    Reply
  2. carrie-the gremlin wrangler July 9, 2008 at 3:10 pm #

    was this post a little “tongue in cheek”? I’m thinking yes.

    carrie-the gremlin wrangler’s last blog post…Oops!

    Reply
  3. Kristen July 9, 2008 at 3:43 pm #

    Ya, how did they live without google.maps and/or mapquest???

    Kristen’s last blog post…Seriously??

    Reply
  4. darla July 9, 2008 at 4:04 pm #

    mmmmm dont think sooo… :shock:

    darla’s last blog post…Walking Partners

    Reply
  5. Debs July 9, 2008 at 4:09 pm #

    Ok, now THIS makes me want to curse… :lol: or throw-up :roll:

    Debs’s last blog post…Permanent Smiles!

    Reply
  6. scott July 9, 2008 at 4:46 pm #

    Shoulda made the left turn in Albuquerque.

    scott’s last blog post…Leaving Left (or the left is right)

    Reply
  7. inWorship July 9, 2008 at 4:55 pm #

    Alex, yes, but only the 3G with GPS :)

    Carrie…absolutely.

    Kristin, he was a man, so maybe even if he had access, he wouldn’t have used them :)

    Darla…agreed!

    Debs, this one really makes me laugh. I do have to admit, it is pretty creative.

    Scott, I always miss that turn :)

    Reply
  8. Tyler July 9, 2008 at 5:05 pm #

    i just love it when secular scholarship tries to explain Christianity and the Bible. I have pity for them because they start from the conclusion that there cannot be a higher being or a God who sent his Son to die for every human. We start from the opposite conclusion. There in lies the problem.

    Tyler’s last blog post…Porn Nation .2

    Reply
  9. ckroboth July 9, 2008 at 5:11 pm #

    Ummm… Ummm….

    I have no words for this one.

    ckroboth’s last blog post…Blogged Bible Study…

    Reply
  10. inWorship July 9, 2008 at 5:16 pm #

    Tyler, you nail one of the biggest reasons that debate between Christian and Non-Christian is very difficult. we have completely different perspectives. they are looking at everything logically and having to be explained when we see the mystery of God and faith as staples of our belief.

    Carl, you choose your words well :)

    Reply
  11. seven July 9, 2008 at 5:44 pm #

    What the heck… That’s funny.

    Reply
  12. tam July 9, 2008 at 6:10 pm #

    “You know how angry your wife gets when you won’t pull over and ask for directions? Imagine how irate the Almighty gets when you pull the same thing on Him!”

    so the next time we’re lost in the car…im goin’ “irate” and “Almighty” yo butt!

    tam’s last blog post…cursing, cussing, swearing, potty mouth, what the &%$#@!

    Reply
  13. ckroboth July 9, 2008 at 6:12 pm #

    Ok…An hour later and still nothing…

    Now this story —- http://weeklyworldnews.com/news/headlines_from_tomorrow/88

    I think there may be something to it, I always though Oprah was out of this world…. ;) ;) ;)

    ckroboth’s last blog post…Blogged Bible Study…

    Reply
  14. ckroboth July 9, 2008 at 6:13 pm #

    Tam, your said “Butt” … I’m telling…Not sure who, but I am telling… ;)

    ckroboth’s last blog post…Blogged Bible Study…

    Reply
  15. jon July 9, 2008 at 6:15 pm #

    all i can say is God was just too late with the whole GPS thing… and i would worn you against comment #12…she seems to have a little anger problem these days, according to her blog…?

    jon’s last blog post…forget it…

    Reply
  16. tam July 9, 2008 at 6:26 pm #

    ck – hahahahaha-HA :lol:

    jon – i DO NOT!!! That makes me SO ticked that you would EVEN suggest that! Sheeze! The friggin Nerve!!!

    love to you all

    tam’s last blog post…cursing, cussing, swearing, potty mouth, what the &%$#@!

    Reply
  17. inWorship July 9, 2008 at 6:27 pm #

    Seven, isn’t this wild!

    tam, don’t you have a “cussing” post that you have to get back to :)

    Carl, I read that one as well…Haha!!

    Jon, just use her Comment# and she’ll never know we’re talking about her :)

    Reply
  18. randy July 9, 2008 at 6:55 pm #

    I think it’s kinda funny that they automatically assume it’s from Moses… perhaps they’ve done all the test and what not, but still its funny how people are always trying to piece together the history of the bible with relevant archeological finds.

    Reply
  19. Brandy July 9, 2008 at 7:15 pm #

    hmmmmmm…… :lol:

    Brandy’s last blog post…God’s Pharmacy

    Reply
  20. inWorship July 9, 2008 at 7:47 pm #

    Randy, I think it’s interesting that so many that don’t believe in any of it, spend so much time trying to disprove it.

    Brandy, is that you thinking :)

    Reply
  21. Jon July 9, 2008 at 8:50 pm #

    *snort* *chortle*

    Reply
  22. Storie July 9, 2008 at 9:14 pm #

    Are you joking?
    What are your sources, B?
    tee hee…:roll:

    Storie’s last blog post…Love For a Perfect Stranger

    Reply
  23. Debs July 9, 2008 at 9:18 pm #

    I really do think it’s comical too B, the problem is all the people who will believe this stuff……:(

    Debs’s last blog post…Permanent Smiles!

    Reply
  24. Iman July 9, 2008 at 9:25 pm #

    This is BRILLIANT B! Now it ALL makes so much sense…my faith was on the BRINK of being lost due to the fact that Moses was clueless and lost.
    Job well done…faith restored.

    Iman’s last blog post…Mind Melt

    Reply
  25. inWorship July 9, 2008 at 11:09 pm #

    Jon, I’d hope you approve :)

    Storie, think it would take more than this to fool you :)

    Debs, I gotcha. There are a lot of people that will work really hard to try and disprove God or justify the lives they are living. that is sad.

    Iman, I am a Pastor…Duh! :)

    Reply
  26. Debs July 10, 2008 at 5:19 am #

    Hey B, the avatar is working (sometimes) in the comment pictures, but I can’t get it into my bio-picture on top of the page. I’m not sure how to get it there… :)

    Debs’s last blog post…Permanent Smiles!

    Reply
  27. Mandy July 10, 2008 at 8:36 am #

    Typical…

    Mandy’s last blog post…Authenticity

    Reply
  28. alece July 10, 2008 at 1:14 pm #

    sassafras!

    alece’s last blog post…four-minute friday: flag tees

    Reply
  29. inWorship July 10, 2008 at 1:49 pm #

    Debs, I will catch you tonight. I’ll send you the code to put it in.

    Mandy and Alece :)

    Reply
  30. darla July 10, 2008 at 2:09 pm #

    Hey B! how about Jesse Jackson saying politically uncorrect things and being over heard..and apologizing to Obama..do you think he will get reprimanded like Imus? Maybe Al Sharpton will get in on this… :lo: just wondering… back to your regularly scheduled post.

    darla’s last blog post…Renewing the mind

    Reply
  31. darla July 10, 2008 at 2:10 pm #

    incorrect…my fingers are not listening to my brain…

    darla’s last blog post…Renewing the mind

    Reply
  32. givemejesus July 10, 2008 at 4:06 pm #

    I’ve always wondered what Moses’ morning motivational speech sounded like: “Ok, people. Rise & shine! We’ve got another full day of aimless wandering to do, so let’s get it together folks! Chop, chop!”
    :-P

    givemejesus’s last blog post…Buster

    Reply
  33. inWorship July 10, 2008 at 4:32 pm #

    Darla, we won’t hear about that until the media thinks it furthers their own agenda. But that’s just my opinion :)

    GMJ, Haha! I love to think about what they would say. Cause we rally don’t know. Scripture usually paraphrases or hints at what was said, but would love to know for real.

    Reply
  34. Brandy July 10, 2008 at 9:15 pm #

    :oops:

    I was “hmmmm-ing” b/c I had a gullible moment there reading that. Yes. Yes I did.

    Shut it. :lol:

    Brandy’s last blog post…God’s Pharmacy

    Reply
  35. inWorship July 10, 2008 at 9:19 pm #

    Hahahaha!!! I can hear you saying that out loud. Miss you girl!

    Reply
  36. Brandy July 10, 2008 at 10:03 pm #

    Miss you too! :D I REALLY miss church too! heehee

    I didn’t say much out loud…I had more of a quizzical look on my face with a “huh?” at the end. :lol:

    Brandy’s last blog post…God’s Pharmacy

    Reply
  37. inWorship July 10, 2008 at 10:06 pm #

    I always count on you catching up though :)

    Reply
  38. Brandy July 10, 2008 at 10:24 pm #

    Eventually. :lol: HA!!!

    Brandy’s last blog post…God’s Pharmacy

    Reply
  39. Dan July 11, 2008 at 6:00 am #

    “So the LORD’S anger burned against Israel, and He made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until the entire generation of those who had done evil in the sight of the LORD was destroyed.” – Numbers 32:13

    Dan’s last blog post…Created for His Glory

    Reply
  40. inWorship July 11, 2008 at 11:26 am #

    Dan, isn’t it amazing that when all these people work so hard to disprove the Bible, that they don’t even reference a book that is authenticated.

    Reply
  41. mandy July 11, 2008 at 3:33 pm #

    the red sea? beside an egyptian chariot? hmm…..

    didn’t the egyptians come after Moses & the Israelites just after they left? and weren’t egyptians and horses and chariots all demolished by the waters returning???

    so. well. i’m thinking the Egyptians, knowing where Moses & the boys were headed, grabbed the map on their way out.

    Exodus 15:4-5 4 Pharaoh’s chariots and his army he has hurled into the sea. The best of Pharaoh’s officers are drowned in the Red Sea. 5 The deep waters have covered them; they sank to the depths like a stone.

    mandy’s last blog post…have you ever felt this safe?

    Reply
  42. inWorship July 11, 2008 at 3:43 pm #

    Mandy, so are you thinking that egyptians are the ones that lost the map :)

    Reply
  43. Dan Cartwright July 11, 2008 at 4:42 pm #

    Amazing it is, Brent!

    Dan Cartwright’s last blog post…Created for His Glory

    Reply

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